My Thoughts on the battle of Good vs Evil

Fork in the road, Get it? lol


“The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” Max Lerner

I came across this quote today and found truth in it. I thought I'd elaborate a bit and put it into context.

Life can be a very challenging battle and with today's modern culture staying true to one's core beliefs can seem nearly impossible. I recently read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and found some very sound advice particularly for someone who might be struggling with this issue.

Now dissecting the above quote it says "The turning point", spiritual awareness, awakening, or whatever you want to call it, is the time in ones life where you "discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.”. Meaning this is a time when you make a decision to follow what you truly believe in.


"The Four Agreements" is a nice simple guide that identifies this ongoing struggle and provides steps that will help one endure it and come out better for the wear.

Ruiz provides the following four principals and states their applicability to your life and a description of their power.

The principals are as follows:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

3. Don't Make Assumptions

4. Always Do Your Best

While these basic ideas seem simple I recommend reading the book as Ruiz states in a very straight forward manner why these ideas can help transform the way you think in a positive way. He helps us un-brainwash us from the everyday culture we have grown accustomed too and challenges us to think about why we behave to way we do.

The last agreement "Always do you best" is something that I found particularly frightening. I have a tendency to quit early, not finish what I start and do just enough to get by way too often(sound familiar). I have been trying to apply this principal to my life for only 3 to 4 days now and already feel happier, more complete and have a much stronger sense of self worth because I know that my best effort is being put forth.

So I guess what I am trying to say and why this quote I came across rang so true is that I am at a turning point. In church today, the preacher brought up the fact that when a recession hits and you lose things of value, your car, house, job maybe even your spouse, you have two options. You can lie and cheat because you feel you have been cheated. Or you can be who you are at your core and be honorable, work hard, fight through the pain and claw your way back doing things the right way.


I am at a turning point in my process of growing up and I am discovering my true strength that has survived what felt like endless pain. I am discovering that through God, always doing my best and pulling together the strength and fire that burns within, I will prevail.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

Word

Finding myself, living life without borders.

"So much beauty in life ,Shining on the outside, Empty on the inside"
Ryan Cabrera - Take it all away

"Aren't you just sick of this shit? I mean I am and I haven't been here nearly as long as you." I asked. "I know it's just dead, I feel like all I do is waste time here" She said and then sighed.

It had been a long road for my mom, she had 22 brand new beautiful town homes that were priced very cheap. Unfortunately the real estate market despite a brief surge when interest rates dropped, was becoming stagnate again. I felt sorry for her, as it was going on a year now that she had been at the site on a daily basis. Beside the fact that this was a full time job itself she had also been running a printing company and another town home site as well. It was more than one person can handle, except for her who had a work ethic that could not be matched.

I guess that was what made me different than most the people I know these days. It had been this way for a long time with her as she had been working long hours for the last 20 years likely longer but that was before my time so I cannot attest to it. I guess the life I had seen her live, constantly pleasing other people and sacrificing her time made me resent hard work.

Now I don't have a problem working hard and when I am at work I try to perform my very best. But seeing someone so close to you go above and beyond on seemingly everything and seeing no real rewards from it made me re-evaluate things. It seemed the more she did the more people expected from her until she literally just did not have the hours in the day to fulfill the obligations that had been created.

I'm telling you this to explain why I feel the way I do today and why something that has been lurking in the back of my mind an idea that I have coveted and thought of day and night for nearly 8 months will be coming to fruition in the coming months. I've always believed in the idea that god would help guide me and show me the path that I was destined to follow in life. I looked for signs and took opportunities that came my way to try and figure out just what the hell I'm doing here on this planet. Well, I received a sign, I know what I am destined for, and now it has to happen.

The Turning Point

God didn't come down and whisper in my ear and I didn't run into some prophet who told me what I needed to do. Things in the real world happen more intuitively than what we see in Hollywood movies. I believe that most things worth doing aren't easy or practical. I also believe that the series of events that put my wheels in motion weren't just a coincidence.

I remember it like it was yesterday. One sad woman's face with a big piece of cardboard that read lost in life. I was at church, one of the many things I made a vow to start doing again, and our preacher Nate was showing a video. In it one sad person after another holding up a cardboard sign stating what they felt like inside, For example, Depressed, lonely, I don't fit in. The point of the video was that they would inevitably find strength in God and the Church and flip over a new happier card.

It looks like this big guy is depressed about his routine as well.

However I think back to that video often and wonder what my card would read. I found myself associating with the first group of cards. Granted this was in one of the hardest stretches of my life I'd seen, I remembered that even when my personal and financial life was going well, there was still a longing for something more.

The List

I don't know what it was that made me write the list, maybe getting older and thinking about all that I had wanted to accomplish. Maybe it was the fact that so many things in my life that had seemed so certain had recently changed. Whatever it was, it was something that may have changed my life forever. They say that writing down you goals increases the probability of them happening and I would have to agree. Since I made my "25 things to do before I turn 25" list on this blog, I have felt like my life now has a plan and a purpose. At the time it may have just been to get me through to the next day and take my mind off my struggles. However it is now becoming a guide for me and helping me see that I had been following other peoples plans and not my own.

In a sense I had been pleasing everyone else's wishes just like my mother had her whole life. The list became a way to escape and do things that I wanted to do. A chance to make my own rules and forge my own path. That longing had existed inside of me since the day I was born. A longing for adventure and travel into the unknown. The time to realize my path and take charge is now and that is what I am going to do.

Livin' La Vida Loca

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

Airfare came in at $781.00 the lowest I'd seen ever. A room to rent in a nice part of the city? From $190 PER MONTH! Gotta love that exchange rate. It was on and I knew it. Number 21 on my list of things to accomplish in the next 2 years was to take a mini retirement to Buenos Aires, Argentina. It is something I've thought about for a long time yet one of the least likely things that I was attempting to do. However today, I made the decision that I am leaving for Buenos Aires in October. How I'll save enough money, how I'll work everything out? I don't know. But I will make it happen.

I couldn't think of a better time to leave then now. I feel lost at home, the pain of a hard break up and some tough times still fresh in my mind. I'm seeking happiness and knowing that there is something missing in my life. Fighting my own mind with what my next step should be. And more than anything else, I have a longing for the road.

Am I running away from my problems? I don't know, I wouldn't say that. While most people think that I just want to run away and I will find new problems to replace old ones when I arrive, that is not what I even am thinking about. I want to see a new place, a new country and a new culture. I want to reinvent myself and make new friends around the world. I have an itch to leave this damn city and until I scratch it I know that I cannot truly be happy. Call it fate, a mistake, call it a immature kid running from his issues, or call it a trip of a lifetime. I don't care what anyone else thinks my motives are. My motive in my mind is clear. To find happiness in a beautiful city where my money goes further, I can stay out later and I can meet some beautiful Argentine girls. I think I'm going to enjoy my new problems!

I see myself becoming a huge soccer fan, not sure why...

My 25 things before I turn 25 an update of sorts

So bottom line my blog has been slacking and I apologize to anyone who actually reads it. Anyways I made a commitment to myself and my readers that I would complete 25 tasks/goals before I turned 25. I am almost 3 months in and was thinking today that I haven't even gotten started, but then I looked back at my goals and was pretty surprised at the progress I have made in less than 3 months. I promised to keep my readers updated and that's exactly what I'm going to do.


Had to throw in a shot of the good stuff, Just about to start using it can't wait!

For the full list you can refer to my February post and read through. Here are some of the obstacles I have made at least some progress on so far...

7. Donate at least $2,000.00 to Charity-
Ok ok so I know I didn't donate $1,000.00 of my own money to charity yet, but I did raise that much for breast cancer prevention back in March and money to a good cause is just that. I'm counting it, 1 more G to go!


9. Compete in Natural Body Building contest-
Probably the task I have made the most progress on so far. I've lost 53 LBS since the last post and been in the gym and on my diet to a T. Not only that but I have been in contact with INBF competitors and judges and I am extremely excited and feel good about my chances in August 2010. Just wait, I will win it...


11. Read and understand the Bible-
Its not an easy read and much of my learning has been done at church with the pastors interpretations. I'm not saying everything he says is exactly right and how it should be interpreted but I know I didn't spend my entire life learning about the book so I will concede that he knows quite a bit more than I do. Either way making great progress and feeling much more content with life.

12. Get in the best shape of my life-
I feel absolutely amazing right now. I have made such huge strides and I know that I am locked in for good now and there is no going back. Locking in with Team Scivation has made all the difference in the world in keeping me motivated and on track. I have gone from wearing XXL's that were tight on me and 46" jeans that were snug, to 40" pants and XL shirts that have room to breathe. I feel alive and ready to conquer the world, and stubborn bodyfat of course.

13. Be able to do 25 Lat pull ups (wide Grip)-
Not gonna lie I can't even do one yet but losing over 50lbs should sure help. 35 more and I am going to be starting these.


14. Bench 315lbs-
I don't know where I am at because I haven't maxed recently. However I did throw up 225 LBS 6 times un assisted last week and can feel how much stronger I am getting. It is just a matter of time till this one is checked off.

15. Get an article I write published-
Nothing close yet, haven't been trying too hard but some doors have been opened for me and I am now interested in not only travel writing but potentially fitness writing as well. We will see how the next year plays out but I have something in the works...

16. Record my life through my blog weekly
Ok so not weekly I know but I have been doing a decent job at staying on top of this minus the past few weeks (no internet at the new house). Be assured I will be back on my blog tip.

18. Make my own CD in a studio-
I got some beats mixed for me and am working on lyrics, this shits gonna be legit seriously. I wouldn't make it at all if it wasn't. More on this soon.

19. Run a 5k-
Started running the other day after taking a 4 year break haha. I feel surprisingly good. It sounds dumb but my sprints felt very fast. I am working at getting my distance up but am adjusting to outdoor running which blows. I'd say a 5 K by August should be no problem.

So as you can see I am making progress but as they say "Quitters never win and Winners never quit" Which means I have to bust my ass and keep on keepin on.

Oh and a new short term goal lose 38 more LBS by August 15th... And it will happen!

Turning new page, my road to redemption.

This article is also being posted on my workout/diet log on Bodybuilding.com in the forums. Username is RickAGriffith, so look me up if interested in future updates.

So I am starting my journey with Team Scivation's diet and workout program today and I am very excited. To say the last few years of my life have been tough is an understatement and it is time for me to take charge of my life and get back to having a great physique.

To let you know a bit about me and my story I'll give a brief timeline of the past few years. I could write about 40 pages describing this but in the intrest of saving time lets make it quick.

Growing up I was always overweight. I went on weight watchers countless times and tried everything I could before I was even 12 years old. Finally in my junior year of high school I started to Body for Life program, which worked very well for me. I went from 245 lbs, to 180 lbs in less that 5 months. I said right then that I would never let myself gain the weight back again, and I didn't for quite a while.

looking good in my senior pics...

I always struggled with acne in high school on my face back and chest and made the decision to go on Accutane (which I don't recommend to anyone). The doctor made me stop lifting weight, which I was now addicted too, and started me on the medication. My prom night was about 1 month into when I had been taking the medication and I ended up having to leave the prom to go home and eventually to the walk-in clinic.

My face had swollen up very big and I had no idea what was going on. I felt like I had been robbed of the senior prom I had worked so hard and lost tons of weight too look good at. I ended up spending 2 days in the hospital before being released after they were sure it wasn't mrsa.

My body started reacting very bad to the accutane and my entire back got tons of acne. I would bleed through any shirt I would wear and I would wake up each morning pulling my bed sheets out of what now looked like open wounds on my back(very painful to say the least). I missed most of the days of school the rest of the year and a severe depression was setting in.

The Accutane eventually stopped any acne from showing up anywhere. While it had done it's job, the severe reaction on my back left permanent scarring all over. I would end up gaining over 50 lbs by the time I finished my dosage. Feeling very ashamed and depressed I would gain over 150 lbs in less than 3 years. Mixed with some very toxic relationships I let other things in my life go to waste as well. My once successful Real Estate business went down with the market and I was in a bad place.

Me currently 45lbs down from my highest weight.

After getting cheated on twice by the girl I lived with and planned on marrying I ended the relationship and decided it was time to get back on my feet. Over the past two months I have lost 45 lbs and have made a commitment to myself that I will never be defeated again.

I have joined Team Scivation for the support and knowledge that I need to get through the tough times. I am started the CHA diet along with the workout I was sent and will be updating my progress and posting results frequently.

I'm not writing this because I want pity or people to feel sorry, just because I want them to know that I am on a mission to change things for the better. Not to judge me from the past, but from what I am going to achieve in the future...